satancomeback: Cosmo Sex Tip #945 When he is close to climax wrap your arms around him and scream DA DA DADADADADA CIRCUS DA DA DADADADADA AFRO. CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS AFRO POLKA DOT POLKA DOT POLKA DOT AFRO.
Me half the time: I just want to cuddle up with you and watch cute movies and look into your eyes and tell you I love you and kiss you lots and then fall asleep in your arms.
Me half of the time: I just want to rip off your clothes and get pushed against the wall with my arms pinned up and make out and push you onto your bed and we can fuck the shit out of each other, ok.
my sex drive.
runningtothefinish: is through the roof the past few days. Sometimes I just want a boyfriend so I can have sex all the time.
badcgijosh: Baby you light up my world like nobody else the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed but when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell you’re so vain you probably think this song is about you
yuigadokusonmaru: if i have a crush on you i’m so sorry
sometimes I catch myself staring into space, counting down the hours ‘til I get to see your face if only I were so lucky.
I just wanna sleep some more but Jane bring braked. to k and I can’t really snenwjerebin typing so all ofntgosnakll bensddnwrong yolo
[[MORE]]we’re not officially together but already i’m afraid we’re going to break up a;fdjkk WE’RE NOT EVen ddating why am i freaking out about this right now i just freak out about EVERYTHING for no good reason at all i’m so paranoid and i don’t know why that hasn’t scared him off yet
welp hasn’t even been a week since orientation I miss you tremendously
kwieta: in italian everything sounds like you can eat it when you say cassonetto stupro u might think its a special pasta but in fact it means dumpster rape
what is my life I am so creepy omfg I can’t stand jt
I hope you realize that these songs will remind me of you for the rest of my life now
oh my god
(I really, really, really hope I’m just reading this wrong) if it turns out that sex is all you’re looking for, then I think it’s time we said goodbye I’m not looking to marry you or anything crazy but I won’t settle for being fwb or whatever the hell you’re thinking
Avengers pick up lines:
Steve: Are you from the 1940s? Because I'd really love to have a future with you.
Thor: I will make sure that you are "Thor in the morning".
Clint: I always hit the bullseye...ifyouknowwhatimean.
Bruce: They don't call me incredible for nothing, hehe.
Tony: Hi, I'm Tony Stark.
some members of my family are so fucking STUPID i can’t stand listening to them talk sometimes holy shit you are so dumb just stop talking
I got my northeastern student ID thing yesterday and I compared the photo on it to the photo on my driver’s license I think I might be out of my awkward stage well I’m still hilariously awkward but at least I’m more physically attractive than I was two years ago yay
Teacher: Schools almost over
Teacher: and this is crazy
Teacher: but here's three projects
Teacher: due by friday
two weeks ago, I was the happiest girl alive. now I can’t even look at him. but the thing is, he’s done nothing wrong. I will never survive college
jUST KIDDING down to zero again
everything feels better in the morning
holY SHIT IT’S TODAY ALREADY I can’t believe I made it these last two weeks i’m so impatient but WHO CARES BECAUSE IT’S TODAY and I get to see him
…but you’re sweet
wow I suck
exception-4l: you can’t spell school without i hate my life
piecesofrhyses: harrytomlomsom: i dont understand how people have the energy to be angry all the time I’ve heard disastrous gamma ray accidents can help
i’ll have a great time tomorrow yayayayyay i’m a brat
I FUCKJ:GKLFLKJK:LDJ kjfs;j
i hate planning trips this has caused me much more anxiety than it should have this was meant to be fun fuck you all oh god why why why
tinydragongina: agehachou: friendship is when you feel comfortable with 43987 typos in your conversations #or when you just keysmash at each other and that counts as legitimate conversation
There's always that one freshman who goes a little...
runningisxc: and because i’m an awful person, i always hope that that bites them in the ass by the end of the race
PERSON FROM BROCKTON
[[MORE]]WHO ARE YOU
do you ever just look at people and freak out...
[[MORE]] i do you are way too good-looking for me aSDFkJgj;l
gaywardvagabond: when you try to tell someone a joke but you punch up the fuckline
tomfoolery it just sounds cool
are you fuddcking midkfgjdkslfj fuck you all hoyl shit and there are people who still wonder why i prefer to stay at home