it’s christmas, I weigh 113 lb and I want to cry never have I weighed over 110. I used to be mortified if I weighed over 105. what the hell is happening to me?
Showing posts tagged with “christmas”
tvtropes for the past two hours. no matter how many times i’ve been on the site, there’s always something new to read
god i wish i felt happy about this. i have a headache. pounding.
merry christmas to all you fuckers out there on the east coast
all i can think about is how excited i was when i was little on christmas eve. i loved to stay up until midnight so i could wish everyone a merry christmas. we would watch “a christmas story” around 11 pm on christmas eve. i loved that tradition. after the movie, i would try to sleep, but it’d be so difficult because i would toss and turn with anticipation. i’d wake up so early the next morning and i would shake my parents awake (to their dismay - they’d answer me groggily when i told them i was going downstairs). i would dump out everything that was in my stocking from “santa”, inspect every piece of candy or treat or mini present, and then carefully rearrange everything and put them back in the stocking. and then i would wait patiently for my parents to come downstairs so we could tear through our presents together as a family.
that’s not going to happen this year. i’m seventeen, not seven. we have no presents. we aren’t home. we don’t have a christmas tree. we have no stockings, no cookies for santa. i don’t feel remotely excited. i just feel disappointed now.
it’s going to be christmas in about fifteen minutes, and yet it has never felt less like christmas. i don’t understand why, and i can’t explain it, but it just doesn’t feel like it’s christmas eve. i don’t feel excited or happy or anything at all. i just feel sad that i don’t feel anything else.